Hands Clean

My crassula enjoying the sun and the clean windows

It's over, and by it I mean the incredibly frustrating couple of months of writing Gee-whizz n:o 2. Over or not, I still haven't managed to come down from the heights of annoyance that the writing process and handing in an unfinished work lifted me. I know exactly what the pitfalls of my thesis are, and I know how I could've fixed them, but I ran out of time. Then again, that is really no excuse, as it all comes down to time management and the fact that I really seem to be no good at it. I'm trying to think of this as a learning experience, but it's not working. I should've known better by now.

I think these feelings will blow over in a couple of days. The weather isn't really encouraging me to wallow in self-pity but is instead beckoning me to go out, explore, enjoy and make the most of my last three months here. I have a lot of east side to scout out, I need to visit Gärten der Welt once the spring is here, go to a couple of museums, visit Potsdam and start running (first need to buy a new pair of trainers, though). I also need to start looking for jobs. Have a list of agencies I will write to - hopefully they will have a need for translators at this time of year. I'm not really looking to start working full time for a couple of months still, not until I'm back to Finland and the summer holiday is over, but it would be nice to have a few clients and the odd commission to pay for my red wine, crackers and brie.

In an attempt to distance myself from the terror of being left alone with the remnants of my academic thinking and the memory of my thesis, I have rewarded myself with two films now. I went to see Black Swan and it was hauntingly beautiful and a true horror film for the adult taste. Natalie Portman has deserved all the awards they've given her for her role as Nina, and the cinematography is breathtaking at times. I didn't even recognise Winona Ryder as Beth, I hope this film means a comeback for her. The only downside was the melodramatic plot, but I forgive the storyline due to the film's otherwise balanced and enjoyable execution. The second film I saw was Another Year by Mike Leigh. Another beautiful film with heart and quiet wisdom. Not a very cheery film, though. The last minute of the film, a relentless close-up of Mary's (Lesley Manville) face while all sounds fade away was unforgiving, cruel and sad. I hope The King's Speech will be a more light-hearted experience.

I promise to start writing a bit more often now. Scout's honour.