Quand j'ai peur de tout

I just now went through my unpublished drafts. One of the titles from a couple of years back read "Sylar goes Martha Stewart". What the hell was that about?

I feel sort of odd. The world seems full of posibilities at the moment but somehow those possibilities also appear to be out of reach. To be, perhaps appropriately, all conceptually metaphorical about it (after all, LIFE IS A JOURNEY), I'm at a crossroads with no destination in sight. What is a boy to do?

This blog is perhaps taking a slightly more academic turn in the near future. If I indeed start working on my doctorate as now (once more) appears realisable, I might start to write this horribly neglected blog with more gusto again. My idea was to turn this forum into a learning journal of sorts, but the question is, would anyone really be interested in reading such crock.

The beginning of my road to a doctorate is closer than I actually feel in my heart of hearts. The research proposal, graduate student application form and all the papers that go with it need to be delivered to the Humanities office at the end of next month. That does not leave me a lot of time to ponder on my existence in this mess I call my life, so I'd better get crackin'.  I have already prepared the easy part of the process and copied all the necessary documents and put them in a binder especially designed to keep all mah post-grad vip's (very important papers) in order. Ahhh, the bliss of lulling yourself into a false feeling of efficiancy.

Unanswered remains the question regarding the part that translation as a vocation is to play in my life next year. Should I still be trying to expand my business now that I "have time" to do so under the protective wings of the university? This particular dilemma is concretely illustrated by the two or three applications to different translation agencies that I have prepared and stored in the app tabs of Firefox for later reference.

In the horizon also looms the figure of serious adulthood in the form of a hefty mortgage I'm about to obtain and my ca. 25 years older self staring back at me from 2036. He looks kind of scary in his academic stuffiness, although I do find his silvery hair and classic appearance with a touch of devil-may-care rather befitting and charming.